F4tim3's Blog

Just the way I am…

My Letter to God..

The greatest thing in life is finding some one who knows all about you and your mistakes & regrets and yet they still find..the best in you… -by friend

My Dear God,

Honestly, I don’t know how to start… I just want to write it  and give it to You directly… I know.. You are the only mighty known about everything… but please… let me just speak it out… I hope it can make me feel better….

My Dear God,

I know how much You loved me, You’ve gave me lot of things… to keep me alive in good health until today is huge gift… and You know.. from deep inside my heart..I always thankful for that…  You also know..that the greatest weakness that I have is my own fear… fear of facing anything that might be hurt me…although all of my fears not always become reality…I have beat some of my fears….and its thanks to You to help me out… but some other of them still and keep exist in my head…always stay in my head…. its really hard for me to take control of it… I’m just  a weak person My Lord… and I can’t do anything without Your help and guidance….

My Dear God,

You gave me happiness with your own way whether understood or not by me… I know sometimes I’m not really good to accept that… Please forgive me my Lord…. but this is my confession… I’ve told you in my pray..that I’m in love with someone that You’ve made us met some months ago…. the way I feel…I belief this things as a special gift from You… remember how much pain that I’ve got from the last time I feel loved…hhhmm….. never-mind… I dont want to talk about that anymore..in fact.. I’ve let it go long time ago…..

This man “help” me find another good side of me.. supporting me to enjoy life more in so many ways……You know my Lord… I’m not in love with the way his looking..or his charming… matter of fact… I’m in love with is lack… is that strange…? but its true….that I’m not in love with all of the ” things” that he has…. and now I’m afraid to show… or to tell him… I’m so afraid that he don’t love me in return and left me behind….afraid to get hurt again… not only by him..but more by my own feeling and expectation…. please Lord… let this fear go away from me.. let it out from my head..my heart… let me just follow the flow… let me see Your sign..so I wont get lose anymore…. give me one more chance to be sure..that I’m not fallen to another wrong guy..

Dear my Lord… please keep stay with me..remind me to stay strong and calm..so I can see Your guidance clearly….. if he is “the one” ..lead him to be sure to come to me and get his heart close to mine… otherwise…please protect my fragile heart from any harm… and lead me to “the one” that You will choose for me…..I believe, there is nothing impossible for You and You’re the only knew the best for me,  Amiin….

I’ve learned that things change, people change, and it doesn’t mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means accepting that some things weren’t meant to be.

19 September 2010 - Posted by | About Me, Just thought

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